


Butterfly's Repose

by HamsterDad



Series: KarlNap collection [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: After Manberg vs Pogtopia, Angst, Bad is basically a doctor, Bad kinda knows, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Cuddling & Snuggling, DreamSMP - Freeform, Dreams a bit manipulative in this ahaha srry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Forehead Kisses, Friends to Lovers, George is so oblivious abt everything, George’s king arc and dethronement, Hurt/Comfort, I think?, I'm Bad At Tagging, Impulsive Sapnap, Kissing, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Instability, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Philza just sells potions, Ranboo is a great friend, Sam Knows, Sam and Sapnap are roomates, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Skeppy knows too, Slow Burn, Smartass Skeppy, So much angst, Surprise Kissing, This is from the roleplay pls, Tommy gets his shit rocked at one point, Understanding Karl, Violence, before tommy's exile, ghostbur exists, karlnap, no beta we die like wilbur, nothing bad though, yea?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28707468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamsterDad/pseuds/HamsterDad
Summary: What happens when Sapnap’s feelings for Dream grow into a raging fire, seeking to burn him alive from the inside. His obsession for the other will drive him to be impulsive and self-destructive. His need to be with the other blinds him from noticing the growing feelings in one of his closest friends.OrSapnap loves Dream so much that he doesn’t notice Karl falling for him until Saps on the verge of collapsingVery bad at writing descriptions but please give this fic a chanceThis was inspired by the song Butterfly's Repose by Zabawa :)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, one-sided Sapnap/Dream
Series: KarlNap collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146497
Comments: 40
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

Broad shoulders connect with solid ground roughly. Sapnap gasps sharply as his sword hits the ground next to him with a thud. His back laid against the dry dirt as he forced his lungs to intake air. Sapnap’s scarred hand flew out next to him for his sword. Fingers wrapped around the handle as a boot came down onto his wrist. Sapnap grunted in pain as tiny rocks dug into his vulnerable arm. The position was painful and made his arm bend in a way that it wasn’t made to do. He pushed weight onto his back as he threw his leg at the opponent beside him to knock him down. His kick was met with a harsh block from the chestplate the other was wearing. The person was now towering above him, the edge of a sharp blade was only a few centimeters away from his exposed throat. His teeth were bared as his eyes glared up to the owner of the sword.  
“Do you give up?” The words were rough and most definitely taunting. How he imagined that voice to whisper sweet little things into his ear. Lonely nights where conversations with the bearer of that voice played on loop. The sun was hiding behind the tall stature above him, causing a shadow to fall upon Sapnap. The figure put more pressure on the male’s wrist at the silence from the other. Sapnap’s face scrunched up as he let out a hiss of pain, rudely being brought back to the sad reality of things.  
A bark of laughter was forced out of Sapnap finally. “Yeah right, bitch!” He wasn’t going to back down, this was usually his response to these certain things. He swung his leg again but this time it was aimed at the arm holding the sword. The quick action knocked the arm aside, sword falling to the ground due to the lax grip. Sapnap placed his foot against the chest of the other, shoving him back harshly. The action caused the other to stumble off Sapnap’s wrist. His hand clasped around the handle completely now. Sapnap rolled over, pushing himself up off his elbow.  
A harsh kick was received by Sapnap to his shoulder as he was half way up. He rolled across the ground onto his right side, his sword becoming loose in his grip. There was a swift movement behind Sapnap. The male barely caught it and threw his arm back, trying to get his sword to connect with something. His arm was roughly caught by two strong hands, the weird position made it easy for the other to yank the sword from his grasp. His arm was harshly pinned against his back. Suddenly the left arm of the enemy behind was in front of him, the blade of the sword placed right against the side of Sapnap’s neck. Warm air blew out onto the left side of Sapnap’s neck.  
_“Surrender, Sapnap.”_ The voice whispered harshly into his ear. His body ached before from exhaustion and pain but now it ached for a whole different reason. His eyes pinched closed as he focused on the harsh breathing in behind him. His back was pressed against the other’s chest. Despite the chestplate of the other in between them, he could feel the chest falling and rising in sync with his breathing. He wanted to sit and bathe in this moment for a bit longer but the nasty bite of the blade against his neck grounded him from dozing off too much.  
“Fine,” he responded harshly, “I surrender, Dream.” The sword dropped from his neck and he let his head drop slightly. His arm was released from the painful pin and his whole body leaned forward away from the male behind him. He heard Dream stand up and moved til he was standing in front of Sapnap. He forced his eyes up to look at the damaged mask above him. Dream stuck a hand out to Sapnap. He looked at the hand in front of him, his own twitching at the thought of accepting it.  
He brought his hand up and smacked it gently to the side, pushing himself up after wrapping his other hand around the hilt of his sword. He sheathed it back in its place on the belt hanging from his hips. He stretched his arms above his head, his muscles aching at the movement. They had been sparing all day and his actions were starting to toll on him. He let his arms fall back down to his side. His eyes caught Dream picking up his own sword, placing it on his back where his own sheath rested. The male turned towards Sapnap before walking back over. Sapnap crossed his arms over his chest, huffing.  
“I’ll beat you next time, I’ve already proven that I-” His words died in his throat as Dream brought his hand up towards Sapnap’s neck. His body jolted at the brush of the other’s fingers. He swallowed harshly, his eyes darting upwards towards Dream’s mask. The mask made it so much harder to read his friend, especially after a spar.  
“Kinda cut you from that,” Laughter tore from the other, shoulders shaking slightly, “Sorry.” Sapnap’s heart hammered against his chest as the fingers lingered. He was cut in many places, but Dream just had to go and point out the one on his neck. _Stupid bastard_. Sapnap swatted the other’s hand away.  
“Uh-huh, _‘sorry’_ my ass” Sapnap played it off, rolling his eyes at the other. Why did Dream have to get so touchy? Every touch from the other caused his stomach to swirl with anticipation. He sometimes thought that Dream did it on purpose, that wouldn't surprise him if it were true. He lightly punched the other in the arm playfully, earning a laugh from his blonde friend.  
The sun was now setting, warm summer air ruffling Sapnap’s hair. His hair was matted and wet from sweat, sticking to the sides of his face and the back of his neck. His grey t-shirt had cuts and stains on it now, the material clinging to his body. The cuts were all minor slashes and wouldn’t need immediate attention. He brought his hand up, wiping away the sweat from his forehead. It always got incredibly hot during the summer, there were even less clouds so the sun was always out during the day.  
His eyes surveyed the area that the two were in. It was a spot away from the SMP, only known by a handful of people. It's where Dream and some others would go when they wanted to spar or even a place for privacy. No one else was around, it was only the two of them. The sound of a belt unbuckling caused Sapnap’s eyes darted over towards Dream who was removing his chestplate. The other let out a groan of relief at the loss of weight.  
“What are you doing? What if someone ambushes you?” Sapnap grumbled cautiously, slightly annoyed at the other. Dream turned his head toward Sapnap, and he could just tell that the taller male was smiling.  
“No one’s around, it’s just us, dude” He chuckled at Sapnap’s annoyance. Sapnap gave one last glance around them, Dream was right. Sapnap looked back towards Dream, eyes raking over the other. Dream was tall and leen, muscle showing through the tattered green t-shirt he wore. His arms were slightly burned by the harsh sun, bringing out the layers of scars that littered them. A light layer of freckles could be seen on his arms, washed out by the years of abuse from the sunlight. Dirty blond locks messily spilled out from around the mask, he was probably due for another haircut. His hair looked tangled and slightly damp from sweat. His chest still rose and fell quickly from exhaustion. Sapnap’s face burned at the realization of how many times he pictured Dream all messed up. _His hair is messy, sticking to his face lightly. How his breath would be unsteady and how it’d feel against his skin directly instead of it rebounding off the inside of his mask. The brush of fingers over his own skin from the other. How their bodies would practically melt together. His lips would brush against his ear as he whispered to him._  
A swift motion in front of his face dragged him out of his daydream, a little startled. Dream had been waving his hand in front of Sapnap when he realized he wasn’t paying attention.  
“Awwwww, were you thinking about kissing me Sappynappy?~” Dream teased as he prodded at the other. It was a good thing that his face was already red from sparing. Though it wouldn’t make a difference, Dream could read him like an open book at all times.  
“Hell no” Sapnap growled lazily in response as he rolled his eyes. Dream’s question was close to his fantasy but it hadn’t gotten to that part before his mind was interrupted. He silently hoped that Dream didn’t have some secret ability that allowed him to read others’ minds, or he’d be utterly fucked. His eyes turned back to the other. _No, if he did know then he would have already left you._

_Unless he was just torturing you for his own amusement._

Sapnap’s face cringed slightly at the intruding thought. He really hoped that it wasn’t like that. They had been friends for years, Dream could be harsh at times but he wasn’t pure evil. Even if that was true...He couldn’t bring himself to leave the other. Dream was always there for him. Even when he fucked up and became afraid that he would leave, he didn’t. It made Sapnap eternally grateful that he stayed, it brought a certain peace to his head that deeply comforted him.  
The overthinking male pulled off some of his armor too, considering it safe enough. He tossed the scratched metal onto the ground below him, stretching his chest. His chest felt a lot better at the loss of the chestplate, allowing him to breathe a little easier. The discarded chest piece sparkled under the setting sun, giving off purple and orange highlights. He still admires that piece of armor every time he sees it, Dream really had skilled hands.  
Dream laid down onto the solid ground underneath him, giving a sigh of relief. Sapnap couldn’t blame him, they started around noon and only took small breaks to momentarily patch themselves up. Sapnap walked over to the other, dropping down beside him onto his back. He gazed up at the clear sky above him, taking time to appreciate the view for a moment.  
“You’re getting better,” Dream said acknowledgingly to the male laying next to him. Sapnap’s eyelids fluttered closed at the sound of the other’s voice. His voice was low adverb when he spoke quieter than normal. The sound of his voice was appealing, it was like adventuring new areas during the springtime, slinking under trees as golden rays from the setting sun grazed their tired yet excited forms. _It felt like freedom._  
“Uh-huh, next time we spar I’ll take you down” He foretold, a smirk tugging at the side of his mouth. He reopened his eyes, turning his head towards the other to peer at him in taunt. He widened his eyes at the unexpected sight. Dream had removed his mask and was now bathing under the sky. His hair looked golden under the falling sun, his unbothered face looked like something out of a Renaissance painting. His brain sputtered and could only produce one word for how Dream looked in that moment. _Pulchritudinous_. Dream could feel the gaze from the other and smirked, he knew what he was doing.  
“What?” Dream asked dumbly, raising a brow as he turned his head to Sapnap, “Does it surprise you?” Of course it did. Sapnap was the only one who had seen Dream’s face, that he knew of. Not even George had seen Dream’s face- which was kind of huge to Sapnap. _His face was scarred lightly, not as much as his arms. The freckles were more vibrant on his face than his forearms due to him wearing his mask constantly outside. His eyes were a soft green mix, as if someone poured Turkish blue on a painting and then layered over it with sage strokes from a small paintbrush. Each stroke took a skilled hand as they painted the image. The center around his pupil was a peanut brown, appearing as if the artist took the paint and carefully let it pour around the black like a slow stream. The person then dipped their brush in gold and traced over the part where the brown and green met, like a barrier between the two. A few blots of hickory brown were added in the mix of colors to make them more eye catching._  
His thick black eyelashes framed his sharp eyes nicely, giving Dream an image of _ageless youth_. His lips were thin and pale, slightly chapped but that didn’t make them any less _desirable_. The small white scars made Sapnap remember that Dream wasn’t just a pretty face. The scars told stories of wars that claimed lives to just small incidents that happened in daily lives. His mouth ran dry at the view in front of him. His fingers twitched ever so slightly as they yearned to run through the mess of hair that framed Dream’s face so perfectly.  
“Well yeah,” he responded as if it were the most obvious thing on Earth, “you rarely take the thing off.” 

“Do I look ugly or something?”  
“Yeah, like you just fought someone for hours.”

They both erupted into laughter. The moment was nice. It reminded Sapnap of when they didn’t have to worry about constant battles. Back to when they would explore new lands and play silly games that they came up with to escape boredom. It wasn’t so bad now though, they were just older versions of themselves. With the exception of countless wounds that left their marks on their vessels.  
“ _Yeah right_ , I’m always gorgeous” Dream had replied jokingly to Sapnap’s taunt.

_“Yeah… You’re right”_


	2. Flower Field

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapnap runs into a friend and they go flower picking and talk about feelings :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t beta read this 🚶

The wooden path under Sapnap was covered in small layers of dirt and had the occasional board missing or damaged. It wasn’t usually so unkempt but with L’manberg being blown up by Wilbur’s last scheme, people had more things on their plate. He didn’t really bother to help clean it though, _it was just a pathway and would get dirty again by the end of the day._

There weren't a lot of people out today. If there were people out then they were more than likely hanging around L’manberg, or atleast what remains of it. His shoulder ached at the thought of the Manberg V.S Pogtopia war. _He had gotten an axe lodged into his shoulder during the battle, pretty sure it had gotten caught in his collarbone. The pain had been excruciating to the point where all he could focus on were the blurred movements of orange fur. He had gotten side tracked in firing a couple arrows at Tommy that he hadn’t noticed Fundy coming up from behind him until he heard Punz call out towards him. It would’ve been worse if he hadn’t turned around in time as the hit was originally directed at the base of his neck._

_Punz had ran over to him and assisted him in fighting off Fundy. The moments after that were a haze as he was trying to ground himself from passing out. All he could remember was the axe being pulled out of his shoulder and then being handed off to another person. Apparently Punz handed Sapnap over to Karl as the blond went back to the battle at hand._

_Karl had used an instant healing potion on Sapnap from the stash that Sap had on him. The potion had instantly closed up the wound, leaving only the tear in his shirt and the damp blood stains surrounding the area. Karl stayed with him as he regained his footing, fighting off the side effects of the potion. He remembered how Karl stood in front of him, sword in a deathly grip and his eyes constantly darting around. His other hand had been bunched up in Sapnap’s shirt on the opposite side of his recent battle injury. Sapnap quickly recovered and wandered back into the fight as soon as he could, only giving a small nod to Karl who followed behind him._

He ran a hand over his shoulder, giving a small grunt in annoyance. He knew it wasn’t there, but he still needed to check to bring peace to his paranoid mind. The war was over, it definitely wasn’t the last but there wouldn't be another one for a while. He was running low on some resources, he’ll need to go mining again. 

Fast footsteps could be heard behind him. The footsteps were light but determined to get to their destination. Some of the boards groaned under the quick pace. The footsteps grew a bit louder as they neared, he didn’t turn. Deep down inside him, he knew exactly who it was. _It didn’t matter if they were running on grass or even if there were noises surrounding Sapnap, he would still know who they belonged to._ A small smile etched onto his face, not registering the ache in the muscles when he did so. 

Suddenly the footsteps stopped, and for a moment Sap thought that they weren’t even there to begin with. Suddenly a body collided with his roughly from behind, bright and different colored hoodie sleeves wrapped around the front of his chestplate. Giggling erupted from the person behind him, a face pressed against the back of his shoulder blade. His smile got a little bigger, that laugh was always pleasant to his ears. The laugh infected those around him and would make smiles appear on their faces, it was like a disease. Not a bad one though. Sapnap turned his head, peering down at Karl who was still hugging him. 

”What’s up?” Sapnap catechized, a side smile still lingering on his face. 

”Nothing really” Karl answered, letting go of Sapnap so the other could fully face him. “I saw you walking so I just wanted to join you! I missed you!” Karl grinned excitably. Karl reminded Sapnap of a dog. He would get all happy when he spotted one of his friends. He was also easily excitable.

Karl had thick brown curls that sat atop his head, not really coming down past his ears. The curls were downy and always soft whenever Sapnap would ruffle his hair to agitate him. _His eyes were like a gray mist fog with the softest green he had ever seen in his life. The fog in his eyes also appeared slightly blue, like there was a cloud of mist setting upon a lake when the moon was at its highest_. There were times where he thought that the mist in Karl’s eyes actually moved, causing him to peer just a tad bit longer into the other’s eyes. That action always made Karl slightly flustered, usually responding to it with a nervous laugh and a joke to sidetrack the other. 

He had a very faint layer of freckles on his face, easily missable if you were looking at him from a distance. His top lip was a bit thin while his bottom lip was a bit fuller. There was the slightest hint of facial hair over the top of his mouth, if it weren’t for that then Sapnap would’ve thought that he was much younger. His body frame wasn’t muscular unlike Dream’s and quite a few people in the SMP. His frame was ectomorph, always covered by either a sweater or hoodie. The sleeves were always bunched up around the base of his hands, giving him an image of delicate euphoria. Even though he wasn’t very muscular, he was still fast on his feet, even if he was a bit clumsy. 

His voice was slightly fruity. Not in the way that people called others gay but in the way that was pleasant to the ear, almost as if he was going to laugh in every sentence he said. His voice was comforting in a way too, even with the energetic energy. _It felt like laying in your best friend’s bed during the winter. Fuzzy blankets and piles of pillows strewn around the room as the heater was on blast. The feeling of the mattress under you shaping to your form as you laid down longer. The heat in the room wasn’t suffocating, it made him feel safe and protected from the sharp teeth of the freezing cold outside._

Sapnap gave a small laugh at Karl’s words. “I missed you too dude.” It was true, he had missed Karl exciting energy. He had that kind of aura that seeped into your bones and made you energetic. It was definitely that kind of energy he needed a lot of times. He had only really talked to George and Dream for a while, sometimes Sam whenever he wasn’t working on _god-knows what_. This was a nice change of scenery, like a nice stretch. Karl seemed to brighten up even more at Sapnap’s words, as if he had just heard the greatest news of all time. 

”So what are you up to? Think I could tag along?” Karl bombarded the other with questions, slinking up next to Sapnap, still turned to the other.

”Well, I don’t really have anything in mind right now” Sapnap shrugged his shoulders, giving a sheepish look. He was honestly just wandering around aimlessly. 

”Well do you wanna come with me to get some dye? Working on some other clothes” Karl tilted his head, looking down into the other’s eyes. Karl usually dyed his own clothes. He was- word for word- ‘spicing things up’. He didn’t make all the clothes he had, Ant actually helped there. They would go out and sheer some sheep before bringing it back and crafting them into sweaters and sometimes other things. Sapnap didn’t really have anything else to do, and he didn’t really want to go back home or to the community house. He needed some space from Dream, _the burning in his chest sometimes became too much._

”Sure, but don’t you and Ant usually go out and do that together?” Sap questioned, raising a brow at the slightly taller male. 

”Well yeah but Ant left a couple days ago to go visit someone outside the SMP” Karl rocked up on his toes and back down as he spoke, his hands down and out beside him as to balance himself. 

”Visiting someone from outside the SMP? Who?” Sapnap prodded, becoming curious as to who he could be visiting. There were only about a couple of people living outside the SMP and he didn’t think that Ain't spoke to any of them. 

”Dunno,” Karl shrugged, “he said something about a boyfriend.” Karl’s face deepened in color a bit, eyes leaving Sapnap’s as if he were embarrassed. Sapnap only gave a small grunt in reply, _it was probably someone they didn’t really know_. Karl led the way as Sapnap followed beside him, talking about what types of dyes that Karl needed and how much he needed. 

”I need azure bluet, cornflower, and dandelions” Karl voiced out as he read off his mental list of the flowers he needed. Sapnap made a mental note of the flowers that Karl needed. _He was definitely not dressed to go flower picking._ His sword hung heavily on his back along with his bow and pickaxe. He was armed with his set of netherite armor, which he hardly took off. He looked more like he was going to fight a plant monster than pick a few simple flowers from the plains. Karl on the other hand was barely armed at all. The only thing he really had on was his sword that peeked out from the inside of his hoodie. Well, they weren’t exactly expecting to run into trouble. Even if someone from L’manberg was planning petty revenge, they would have to scrooge up resources so they were technically okay for now. Though, their enemies didn’t have to come from just L’manberg. _Their next enemy could be someone close to them._

”Oh! There’s a patch!” Karl interrupted the other’s thoughts, bounding over towards a patch of flowers that was located next to a small pond. Karl started to pick a few of the flowers carefully. Sapnap walked into the patch, just slightly behind Karl. He crouched down, picking the flowers that Karl was, not picking them as carefully as Karl. He peered down at the azure bluet in his hand. The colors reached out towards him like a strong gust of wind. He bit his bottom lip slightly, sucking in a small breath, fueling the small embers that lit themselves inside him. _The flower in his grasp reminded him of Dream. **Everything did now.**_

”You good, Sapnap?” Karl’s voice carried over towards Sap, his eyes holding worry and curiosity. Sapnap’s eyes looked up to Karl, his face a tinge of red. 

”Hey…” He started, “Is it okay to fall for your best friend?” He asked cautiously, as if testing the waters. Karl seemed taken aback, face flushing instantly. 

”W-well,” He stammered, “I think it’s alright.” Karl responded softly, like he was talking about something important. His fingers fidgeted slightly, getting caught in his sweater sleeves. He eyed Sapnap hopefully as the other returned his lost gaze to the flower in his hands. Sapnap raised a hand up to his chest, balling it up over the place where his heart was. _The fire burned the most right there,_ as if the blood pumping in his heart was causing the fire inside him. It hurt in a way. 

”I….I think i might be in love with Dream” His voice came out in a whisper. Saying it aloud felt weird, it was like he was fully acknowledging it now. He wasn’t even sure that Karl had heard him. Maybe it was best if only the wilting flower in his hand had heard him. The wind around them picked up, ruffling the flowers and grass with hot air. The sound was welcoming, _it was quiet_. Usually silence with Karl was weird but it felt kinda nice this time. 

”Really? Are you sure it's love or just...admiration?” Karl asked, his voice sounding like glass. It was odd, Karl’s voice always sounded bright. Sapnap didn’t bother to question it and blamed it on the heat. Sapnap scratched at the back of his neck, giving a small nervous chuckle. 

”I think so? Like seeing him makes me get kinda queasy and nervous? _God I sound like a girl”_ Sapnap laughed pathetically, running his free hand over his face. It was hard to talk about it, but Karl was so understanding. Karl laughed with him, but his laugh didn’t carry the same energy, it sounded forced. 

”Does he like you back?” Karl question, his voice coming out slightly strangled, clearing his throat quickly after asking the question. Sapnap elbows rested on his knees, eyes staring blankly at the grass below him. Now his heart hurt for a different reason, throat tightening up slightly. _No_. Is what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t get it out. He knew Dream saw him like a brother. He squeezed his eyes shut. He knew it deep down that _Dream truly didn’t feel the same for him._

”Hey..” Karl started, walking over next to Sapnap before crouching down, “You guys are best friends so.. I’m sure he’ll understand- what if we had a sleepover or something! We could invite Quackity over too! It’ll be fun!” Karl’s voice changed mid-sentence along with the direction that the conversation had been going. Sapnap realized that Karl’s fingers were tugging at the sleeve of his shirt. The feeling grounded him. His shoulders loosened up, a small smile making its way back to his face, glad for the distraction. 

”Yeah but I don’t want you getting jealous when Quackity kisses me.” He teased, bumping his shoulders with Karl’s. Karl let out his high-pitched laugh, making Sapnap’s smile widen. 

”As long as you don’t get jealous when me and Quackity cuddle.” Karl retorted back, his own smile hanging brightly on his face. Sapnap played a face of hurt, his mouth agape. 

”And you won’t invite me? Wow- I’m really hurt Karl” His tone held fake hurt and sarcasm. 

”No no no, you can cuddle with us too.” Karl added, sounding serious but not enough to keep him from smiling. Karl shook the other playfully, making both of them shake and rock side to side. Sapnap wasn’t in the most secure sitting position as he was crouched, teetering on the toes of his feet. He teetered a little too much to one side. He let out a yelp in alarm as he tumbled into the grass and flowers below, dragging Karl down with him. Sapnap fell down onto his shoulder with a thud. He heard Karl fall in behind him, assuming he fell on his stomach. He rolled over onto his back, feeling the weapons strapped to his back dig into his sides. 

Sapnap couldn’t help but laugh. It really was nice, he had been afraid that Dream would burn him all up if he stayed near him for too long. The feeling of being lit up on the inside wasn’t terrible but it was so confusing. It made him _addictive_ to the other, _craving_ more after the flame died down. He needed more. The flames also hurt. They bit at certain places inside him that made him wince and cave in on himself. Sometimes the heat got so much that he couldn’t breathe.

A blur of brown fluff caught Sapnap’s attention. Karl’s chin was now resting on the breast of his chest plate. Karl was grinning, grass and small petals stuck in his hair. The sun beating down on both of them. Even with the mist in his eyes, the sun sparkled off them. Karl’s face was flushed from the heat, his hairline sparkling from sweat. 

”So let’s finish with the flower picking and then we go find Quackity?” Sapnap proposed, raising a brow at the other to see how he felt about it. Karl pushed himself up on his elbows, pulling himself into a sitting position. 

”Yep! We can stay at my place!” Karl stood up, bending down a little and offering a hand to Sapnap. Sap brought his hand up, gripping Karl’s. Karl hoisted up Sapnap- or well tried, Sapnap did most of the work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quackity makes an entrance next chapter! Fun times ahead or will there be bad blood? And the relationship between Quackity and Sapnap is completely PLATONIC in the fic due to Alex stating that he’s uncomfortable with shipping him and his irl friends. Also chapters will come out every two to three days :)


	3. Blue stained fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl and Sapnap spend some time together making dye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this later than expected, I apologize for the late post.
> 
> Slight content warning for this chapter: Sapnap thinks something is dirty but it really isn’t, just a misunderstanding

It was _hot_.

Sapnap could feel sweat dampen the back of his shirt, the fabric stuck to him now. The sun was mercilessly bearing down on both boys. Karl had rolled up the soft sweater sleeves to his elbows, panting through the heat. They both trudged through the plains, no trees or clouds to shade them through their venture. 

Sapnap was starting to feel antsy. His hair was plastered to his neck and the sides of his face, the feeling making him agitated. A nasty scowl was etched into his face, his brows stuck in a furrow. The sound of thudded footsteps and two sets of huffing all he could hear along with his thundering heart rate. This was getting exhausting. Karl, as if noticing Sapnap’s sour mood, spoke up.

”Almost there! I can see the top of the bamboo!” Karl turned to Sapnap, giving him a grin despite the harsh conditions they were currently facing. Sapnap’s anger resided slightly at the warming smile from Karl. He rolled his eyes lightly, not helping the smile tugging at his face. 

”Good, it’s really _fucking hot_ out here” He replied, his words coming out breathily. 

”Probably because _I’m_ out here” Karl said jokingly, laughing at his own words.

”Oh yeah, _you’re so hot Karl I just wanna make out with you right here_ ” Sapnap said sarcastically, his eyes fixing themselves on Karl to see his reaction. Karl’s face was already flushed from the heat but deepened at his words. Sapnap grinned at his succession to make the other embarrassed. Karl let out his high-pitched laugh, bumping Sapnap’s shoulder with his lightly.

”Shut up, dude” He responded playfully, now walking up the stairs to his floating bamboo house. Sapnap snickered, following after him. Karl had trouble opening the door as his arms were full of flowers but eventually got it open. Karl kept the door open with one foot, letting Sapnap walk in first. The house was nice, not spectacularly amazing but it felt homey. 

”Oh you can put the flowers down in the chest over here” Karl called over his shoulder to Sapnap, walking over to the many chests that were hanging from his wall. He opened one of them up and dumped the flowers in, keeping it open for Sapnap to do the same. Sapnap dropped the armful of flowers into the chest, shaking off the remaining petals from his shirt and pants. He inhaled and felt a sharp pang in the left side of his chest. Sapnap’s face cringed lightly, his nose scrunching up. _Yea, maybe he had been wearing his chest plate for far too long._

”Hey,” Sapnap turned to Karl who had been closing the chest, “you think I could put my armor down?” He questioned, raising a brow to the other. Karl looked up from the chest, giving a quick nod.

”Yea, of course dude!” He grinned at the other. He walked over to the table in the center of the room. It was made of oak but had many colorful stains on it. There were also scratches and a few scorch marks on it. _Karl was really messy when working, huh_. Sapnap followed Karl absentily. Karl pulled up the hem of his hoodie, hands fumbling with the belt of his sheath. _He was probably exhausted._

”Karl, _here_ ” Sapnap places a hand on his shoulder, moving him to face him. Karl’s head flung up, looking at Sapnap with doe eyes. His hands were still buried in the hem of his hoodie. Sapnap’s hands lifted up to Karl’s chest, fingers wrapping around the buckle. Karl’s shoulder tensed up lightly, his breath faltering. Sapnap quickly undid the buckle, wrapping his arms around the other to remove the sheath and sword carefully. He felt Karl’s heart hammer against his own chest. He pulled the sheath down and through the bottom of Karl’s hoodie. Sapnap pulled away, placing the sword and sheath down onto the table. The slightly shorter male smirked. His put his hand on the table and leaned on it, turning to look at Karl. Karl’s face was slightly flushed, mouth twitching slightly as he inhaled. 

” _What would you do without me?_ ” His tone is full of joking flirtations. Karl took a moment before laughing, shoving at the other playfully.

”Shut your mom, you nimrod” They both laughed. Sapnap pushed himself off the table, his fingers unbuckling his own sheath, tossing it next to Karl’s. He did the same with the rest of his weapons, rolling his shoulders. He then moved to take off his chest plate, looking over to Karl who was moving stuff around in his chest. 

”Are we going to go talk to Quackity?” Sap asked, hands stopping on removing his armor. _He didn’t want to take it off if they were going to go see Quackity, especially if he was around people who currently hated his guts_. Karl shook his head, not leaving the chest with his eyes. 

”Nah, I’ll just contact him with my communicator.” He responded, his tone neutral as he searched for something. _Oh right._ Sapnap had one but he often left it at his shared base with Sam. His first one got destroyed three days after he had gotten it. He should probably start bringing it around with him, it wasn’t doing him any good being at home. 

”Yea, I really don’t want to go back out in this heat” He groaned after the thought of going back outside. His hands continued what they were doing earlier, removing the armor from his damp, sweat stained clothes. He tossed the armor on the table with a clatter, moving the armor to where his sword was easy to access. _Just in case of an emergency._

Sapnap sat on the edge of the table, arms crossing over his chest. He felt a lot better in the house, he still felt miserable though. Karl’s back straightened up as he pulled the small rectangular device from the chest. He punched in a few buttons before walking over and placing the device on the table. Karl turned over towards Sapnap, a toothy grin on his face. 

”Wanna help make some dye? I need to do it as soon as I can so they don’t wilt” Karl proposed, teetering on his tiptoes. 

”Sure, don’t know how much use I’ll be” Sap shrugged his shoulders, pushing himself up from the table. Karl turned over to the wall of chests, again. Karl moved around a lot. Sapnap followed the other lazily. 

”Okay so we need to gather the flowers and something to crush them up” Karl mumbled vaguely. Sapnap shrugged his shoulders, opening a random chest and moving things about. Karl pulled out some of the flowers they picked and some that he didn’t remember picking. Sapnap didn’t find anything that looked related to what they were doing, continuing to the next chest. He opened it with a sigh, moving things around. He eyed a thick bowl made of quartz. There was an oddly shaped cylinder that expanded at the end. He raised a brow at it, not knowing what it was. He looked at it closer, picking up the bowl with both hands. He peered at the object in it for a bit longer before. His face became flushed when a not so clean thought drifted into his head. _Holy shit was that a…._ His brain didn’t want to finish the thought as he turned over towards Karl. Karl has been staring at him curiously. His brows were furrowed as he was pondering why Sapnap’s face was red.

” _Karl...Uh, didn’t think you were into that kind of thing_ ” His voice trailed off as his eyes flickered down to the solid quartz cylinder. Karl became even more lost as his brows furrowed more.

”What? What are you talking a-“ Karl’s voice cut off as he realized what Sapnap was intending. His face became a dark red, his eyes widened as his mouth sputtered to talk. “What! Nononono,” he said all too quickly, dropping the flowers from his arms and waving his hands in front of him quickly, “it’s a pestle! It goes with the mortar in your hand! It-it’s for grinding up herbs!” He shrieked in embarrassment from Sapnap’s accusation. Sapnap’s face deepened a bit in embarrassment as he realized it wasn’t what he had thought it was, becoming a bit relieved. 

”Oh!” He let out a laugh, holding the mortar and pestle in one arm, his other hand coming up to cover his mouth. “Holy shit dude- I’m sorry I genuinely thought it was something bad.” He barked another laugh as Karl joined in. Karl crouched down and picked up the flowers that fell to the ground, shaking his head.

”I can’t believe you thought I had,” he waved one hand around, not exactly wanting to say it, “ _that_ ”

”Well I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly thinking when I looked at it” He responded, Karl rolling his eyes in response. 

” _Whatever_ , put the mortar and pestle on the table” Karl finished picking up the flowers, waking over to the table with Sapnap and tossed them down. Sapnap placed the mortar and pestle down, admiring the two objects. 

”Did you make it?” Sapnap questioned as he turned to Karl whose face had returned to its normal shade. Karl looked up at Sapnap and then to the quartz object on the table. 

”Oh, no I didn’t,” he shook his head lightly, tossing around brown fluff, “Skeppy made it for me.” Sapnap raised a brow at that. 

”Skeppy made it for you?? I didn’t think you two were really close.” Sapnap was genuinely surprised. He knew Karl and Bad were kinda close but not Skeppy and Karl. It made him shift lightly when the thought about not knowing his friend too deeply settled into his head. 

”Well Bad actually asked and gave it to me as a present on behalf of them both.” He shrugged his shoulders lightly. Now that made more sense. He wondered how Bad was doing actually, he hadn’t seen him since he declared the faction called the ‘BadLands’. 

”Oh, well that’s cool of him.” Karl nodded his head, hands separating the petals of the flowers from the stems and putting them in separate sections on the table. Sapnap followed Karl’s motions, eyes watching Karl’s hand intensely. _His hoodie sleeves were bunched up around his elbows, forearms exposed_. Karl usually wore long sleeves, he hardly ever saw him in just a t-shirt. His hands were tanned and were tinted red around his finger tips, which were now tinted blue from plucking blue petals. 

Karl’s brow furrowed as he became totally engrossed in what he was doing. His hands moved quickly yet carefully, making the outcome of what he was doing so much better. Sapnap noticed that when he plucked petals that they tore in his fingers, whilst Karl’s didn’t tear and came off the body of the flower smoothly. Sapnap continued what he was doing, stopping once all the petals of the cornflower had been plucked. 

”Okay, now what?” Sapnap looked up at Karl who was moving the stems farther away. 

”Okay well I’m going to grab another mortar and pestle so we can both do the same thing but much quicker.” Karl walked back over to the chests, opening one Sapnap hadn’t opened. He plucked out a bigger mortar and pestle that was made from what looked like polished cobblestone. He brought it over to the table setting it down in front of Sapnap.

”Okay, so you’re going to put the petals in the mortar and use the pestle to grind them up til it’s a fine paste.” Karl stated as if he were reading from a recipe book, flicking his eyes down to Sapnap. “Got it?” He questioned, quirking a brow. Sapnap nodded his head.

”Yea, doesn’t seem too hard.” Karl nodded, waking over to his side of the table. Sapnap picked up the pile of petals he plucked and dropped them into the mortar, he picked up the pestle and pushed it down onto the petals. He squished down on it and turned the pestle, testing out the action. 

”Hang on I’ll show you.” Karl offered, walking back over to Sapnap who didn’t refuse the offer of help. Karl placed his hand over Sapnap’s on the pestle and repeated Sapnap’s precious motion but with more precision. He turned the pestle more than Sapnap originally did and continued the motion. _Karl’s hand felt warm against Sapnap’s. His chest was pushed up the back of Sapnap’s shoulder, his other hand placed on his back_. “See, like that.” His breath blew out against the side of his face, his tone quieter than normal. Karl seemed more timid and nervous than he usually was but Sapnap ignored it. He gave a small nod.

“Yeah I think I got it now, thanks.” He turned towards Karl, a smile tugging at the side of his mouth. _They were extremely close and he felt Karl’s pulse from the tips of his fingers_. Karl’s mouth was shut but he nodded his head, quickly detaching himself from Sapnap. His movements became a little clumsy as he bumped into the edge of the table, drawing a laugh from Sapnap and a nervous one from Karl. 

They got back to work quickly after that. Sapnap would sometimes look up and catch Karl looking at him who would in return quickly look back at what he was doing. This went on for a bit but neither of them mentioned it. A buzz from the communicator caused both males to look up. Karl left his spot and picked up the device. He was silent for a moment but his face brightened up. He looked back up at Sapnap and grinned. 

”Quackity replied!” He said cheerfully.

”What’d he say?” Sapnap questioned, his hands stopping. Karl looked back down at the communicator, his eyes scanning over it. 

”Said that he was finishing a meeting up with Tubbo and Fundy and that he should be over pretty soon!” Karl exclaimed. If he was a dog then his tail would be swinging all about. Sapnap tensed up a bit at the mention of Fundy and Tubbo. _His shoulder ached once again and he fought off the urge to touch it._ Karl seemed to notice and changed the subject quickly.

”Alrighty nimrod, let’s hurry and finish this paste before Quackster gets here” He placed the device down and moved back to where his blue mush was waiting in the cobblestone mortar. Sapnap nodded, letting his mind get busy with the task before him. The petals soon became a mush like substance in the mortar but were a bit chunky. His eyes flickered over towards Karl’s and his face scrunched you in confusion when he noticed that his looked much cleaner and smoother. Sapnap looked back down and put more precision into grinding up the paste, attempting to make it look like Karl’s. 

Karl put his pestle down onto the table, blue liquid dripping off the gray object and onto the oak table below it. He manoveried over to the chests and plucked glass containers from them. He walked back over and placed them down onto the table. He unclasped the top from the bottle and picked up the mortar, he began to slowly and carefully pour the blue substance into the glass container. It was thicker than liquid but not firm enough to be called a solid either. It was exactly what Karl said earlier, _paste_. 

Sapnap was still working on his when Karl washed out the blue remains from the cobble mortar. He pulled out the dandelions from earlier and began to work on those. Sapnap eventually finished his, his hands aching from gripping the pestle so hard. He picked up a glass container and copied Karl’s movements from earlier. He raised the mortar up and started to pour it into the container.

His eyes glanced up towards Karl as the male across from him was humming, his foot taping in time with the beat. A wet _plop_ was heard from under Sapnap’s hands and he instantly looked down, confused. His eyes widened when he realized he was pouring the paste onto the table and completely missing the glass. 

” _Shit_ ” Sapnap cursed under his breath, causing Karl to look up. He realized what was going on and instantly stopped what he was doing and moved around the table to assist Karl. Sapnap put down both the mortar and container, searching for something to clean the paste up with. 

”Sorry, dude” Sapnap apologized as Karl came in clutch and wiped the paste off the table with a small brown towel. The paste left a blue trail on the already stained table and would probably lightly stain the towel as well. Karl laughed, his face hosting a smile rather than a frown. 

”It’s chill! I do it all the time” Karl confessed as he wiped off the remaining blue paste from the side of the glass. Sapnap let a sigh of relief escape from him as his shoulders eased lightly. He was happy that Karl wasn’t upset at him. He was kinda mad at himself though, _he spent a lot of time on the paste and spilled almost half of it_. 

”You did good for your first time” Karl beamed proudly. Sapnap chuckled at that, teeth showing from the side of his open mouthed grin.

” _Well I have a really good teacher_ ” A hint of flirtation was laced with his words as he leaned onto the table. _It was all playful_. He reminded himself that every time he flirted with others. Karl’s face reddened as the compliment filled the air. He let out a short laugh, his forearm coming up to cover his mouth. 

” _Uh-huh_ ” Karl responded, causing the grin to widen on Sapnap’s face. A knock from the front door caused the two to stop what they were doing and to turn to the door. Sapnap’s hand flew out and gripped the hilt of his sword, his thumb already flicking the latch off. Karl placed his hand on Sapnap’s own before he could pull the sword out. Sapnap looked up towards Karl who gave a comforting smile.

”It’s probably just Quackity” He removed his hand and strides over towards the door. Sapnap straightened up, fear shooting up through his bones. _What if it wasn’t Quackity? What if it was someone who sought to harm his best friend._

”Wait, Karl _don’t_ -“ Sapnap couldn’t finish his sentence before Karl opened the front door. Sapnap strided forward, his hand surging out to grab Karl’s shoulder. 

”Quackity!” Karl said happily as he flew forward, arms outstretched towards the other. A familiar laugh was heard from in front of Karl. The laugh stopped Sapnap from grabbing onto Karl. He let his arm fall back to his side. 

” _Ayyyyy_ Karl, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you man!” His ringing voice was a comfort to Sap’s ears. He let a sigh of relief escape. Karl embraced the shorter male, both of them laughing. Sapnap stood in the doorway, smiling at the two. Karl and Quackity eventually separated and both turned to him. 

Quackity was wearing his normal blue jacket with the three white stripes that trailed down on the sleeves. He still wore the loose black jeans that now had a few rips below his knees. The navy blue beanie with ‘LAPD’ printed across the bottom of it was still wrapped around his head, hiding most of his black that threatened to spill out from under it. _His eyes were a dark brown, almost black color. They swirled up like black water. His eyes were always pretty to look up, they absorbed the sunlight that showed down onto them instead of reflecting it._

One thing that unsettled Sapnap was the scar that creeped up from the back of Quackity’s neck. _The scar stretched out to the side of his neck, dipping under his jacket_. Sapnap knew where the scar came from. He was just glad that he wasn’t the one who caused it. Quackity brightened up at the sight of Sapnap. 

”What’s up fucker!” He laughed, embracing Sapnap as he did Karl. _There was no bad blood between them_ , he was glad. Sapnap patted his back.

”Yeah yeah, nice to see you too, bitch” He responded jokingly 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to follow my Twitter @darkacademiafuc for updates!


	4. Wishing he was here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter 
> 
> Mention of scars   
> Negativity of self image

Sapnap scrubbed at the oak table underneath him with a multicolored stained hand towel. He was helping Karl clean up the kitchen. It was already clean but he assumed it wasn’t clean enough for Karl. Chatter from across the table made its way to Sap’s ears as he tuned back into the world around him. 

”..No! I’m saying that he’s so difficult to deal with” Quackity complained loudly with a groan as shut one of the many chests. He turned towards Karl and Sapnap, leaning against it. “I mean its constantly about discs! No real politics or anything!” He crossed his arms over his chest. It was rare for Quackity to complain, he was usually carefree about everything. 

”Who? Tommy?” Sapnap asked as he pushed himself up from hunching over the table. He was starting to feel the ache in his back after a while of being hunched over. His posture was shit if he was being honest. 

”Yes! He also does nothing to help anyone out! All he does is make shit harder” The distressed male brought his hands up and rubbed his face, hoping to rub away his irritation. When that didn’t seem to work he tucked his hands back under his arms. 

”Isn’t Tubbo president? Maybe he could talk some sense into him?” Karl queried, now done cleaning the cauldron and its contents from the other side of the room. Quackity just shrugged his shoulders.

”He’s tried but Tommy just keeps doing shit” Quackity shook his head, some hair falling from under his beanie. Quackity seemed stressed. Sapnap was glad that he wasn’t under a government. He couldn’t imagine being ordered around to do shit constantly. Sapnap valued his freedom, he’ll continue to do what he wants. 

”Aren’t you afraid Tubbo might get upset that you’re here, hanging around us?” Karl emphasized on the word ‘here’. Sapnap had thought the same thing. Karl and Sapnap weren’t exactly buddies with L’manberg and its citizens. Quackity pushed himself off the chest, stretching his back.

”Nah, he probably won’t even notice with everything going around like it is” Quackity had a point. L’manberg was still under reconstruction and new Presidency so a lot of things were changing. He honestly couldn’t care less about L’manberg and if they all hated him. He was just paranoid that Quackity would stop seeing him. They were friends and Quackity had grown on him.

Sapnap reached up and wiped away a layer of sweat from his hairline. His nose scrunched up, gross. He reached his hands around to the back of his head, untying his bandana. He let the damp strip of cloth fall off his head and sit lightly around his neck. He pulled the gross thing off him and dropped it right near his equipment. 

”Grossssssss” Karl complained loudly, eyeing Sapnap. He gave a laugh, turning his attention to Karl.

”You’re gross too! You were wearing a whole hoodie outside!” This caused everyone to join in on the laughing. Karl was right though, Sap felt gross. “Mind if i use your shower?” He questioned, a brow coming up as he looked to the other for a response. Karl nodded in response.

”Yeah sure! I don’t mind” The chestnut haired boy grinned back at the other.

”A shower? Mind if I join you Sapnap?” Quackity flirted, his whole mood changing in a matter of seconds. Sapnap smirked playfully. 

”Hell yeah, I wouldn’t mind at all” He flirted back with more ferocity, the side of his mouth twitching. 

”Huh?! What about me!?” Karl questioned in disbelief, looking between the other two with wide eyes. This sparked a laugh in all of them. Sapnap pinched his eyes closed, his arms wrapping around himself. When laughter died down, Sapnap excused himself from the room and headed to Karl’s room where the bathroom was located. His eyes raked over Karl’s room. It was a bit warm in the room, windows open in hopes for a gust of wind to roll through. The bed was a little big for one person, there was a cyan blanket thrown over violet sheets, bumblebee yellow pillows sticking out from underneath. Sapnap smiled, Karl’s room was just as colorful as his clothes. 

There were a few tapestries hanging from the walls, a few item frames here and there. It was just a plain bedroom, with the exception of the colors. Sapnap made his way to the connected bathroom, pushing open the door. He shut the door behind him and his hand froze on the lock. He stood for a moment and pondered if he should lock it. Concern if someone broke in and the two downstairs needed his help. He silently groaned when he realized he hadn’t brought up any weapon. He calmed himself down and eased his anxiety. Everyone is preoccupied with something so no one would bother breaking in. His fingers wrapped around the cold metal of the lock and turned it, hearing the satisfying clock of the mechanism. 

He turned his back to the door and walked over to the shower. It was encased in a wall of glass that made it difficult to look through. He opened the glass door and peered inside. The interior was made of quartz and crafted into tile. There were a few bottles that had labels perched on a shelf that protrude from the side of the shower wall. His hand reached out and grasped the cold steel knob, feeling wonderful in his palm and turned it to the right. Water shot out from the mouth of the shower head, catching Sapnap’s arm and drenching it in cold water. Sapnap yanked his arm back at the sudden feel of ice cold water. Sapnap closed the shower door to prevent water from drenching the floor. 

He pulled the sweat stained shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. He tugged at the laces on his shoe before pulling them off. He shedded the last bits of his clothes, throwing them with the rest. His hands reached behind his hair, fingers yanking at the knot in his headband. He pulled it off and tossed it to the side. His eyes caught a glimpse in the mirror. His nose scrunched up lightly before hastily looking away. He sometimes hated how he looked. He hardly expressed it aloud but it ate him up from inside. There were ugly scars that curved and wrapped around him. He shook his head lightly, causing strands of damp ash hair to stick to his face. He forced himself not to think about it anymore and forced himself into the shower to help. The cold water felt like an attack on him as his whole body tensed up. 

“Holy shit…” He breathed out behind clenched teeth. His muscles began to cramp slightly and he hastily turned the knob quickly. It was definitely hot outside but he was not about to take a freezing shower. He stopped turning the knob when lukewarm water drenched him instead. He sighed into the water, muscles relaxing. He shoved his head under the mainstream of water, fully drenching his head. He stayed there for a bit before pulling away, plucking one of the bottles from the shower shelf. He turned it around to read the label, swishing the liquid around on the inside. He placed the bottle down when he realized that it wasn’t what he was looking for. He tried his luck witht he next bottle. His eyes scanned over the label before realizing that it was shampoo. He twisted the cap off with his free hand and turned the bottle over, pouring the slightly thick substance into his hand. It was a forest green that reminded him of slimes.

He brought his hand up to his head and massaged at his scalp. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, water rushing down the small of his back. His fingers dug at his scalp, making sure to deeply wash his hair to remove the violating odor of sweat, dirt, and a few other things. Soap spuds began to run down his back as he continued to massage at his scalp, he took a small step back, leaning his head into the water. The shampoo smelt of bamboo and aloe vera. It wasn’t a surprise that they smelled like they did, Karl’s house was surrounded by bamboo. The water washed away the shampoo from his hair, making his head feel heavier now that the hair held water molecules.   


He stood under the shower head for a few more moments, relishing in the refreshing feeling of the water flowing down from his body and hitting the tiles below him. He imagined the water washing away all his impulsive thoughts and leeching emotions. He wished they could wash away the feeling of want and need too. 

The male inhaled, his eyes squeezing shut. The lukewarm water was starting to feel like a body against his back, his mind too muddled to find the difference in the feelings. Hand grazed the small of his back, coming down to rest on his hips. He could practically feel the warm breath grazing over the back of his neck. Frustrated tears welled up behind his eyelids. He knew it wasn’t really but, god, did he wish it was. The person lends in, nose brushing against the back of his neck. Sapnap’s hand came up, hand reaching in behind him to grab the face of the person he yearns so badly for. 

His hand doesn’t reach any thing, only the feeling of water tracking down his arm. He turns his head in mild surprise. He knew the person wasn’t there but he had hoped that they secretly were. His chest tightened in pain and frustration and he struggled to inhale. He put his hand over his eyes, shielding them and hoping tears didn’t escape. It was frustrating. He had loved him for years, platonic and romantic. He always tried to keep the other’s attention but he always changed so fast. He struggled to keep up at first. 

His hands grabbed at the wet hair that dangled around the back of his neck. He desperately tried to ground himself into reality and escape the depressive needs of his heart. He needed to hurry up with his shower, pretty sure the other two downstairs were starting to grow concerned. 

He grabbed a small coffee colored cloth that hung from the small shelf and cycled through the bottles until he picked up one that he was pretty sure was body wash. He opened the bottle and poured a decent amount onto the washcloth. He brought the washcloth over his chest, scrubbing harshly at his skin. His silent pleas to scrub away his feelings filled his mind and spilled onto the white tiles beneath him with the white soap spuds.

The air around him grew humid throughout the rest of the shower. He eventually got out of the shower, fingers slightly pruned up. He was thankful when the mirror in front of him was fogged up. He could only see the tanned blob in the mirror, a mess of black on top of it. His fingers brushed against the soft towel resting on the sink counter. His hand curled around it, slowly bringing to himself. He dried himself off, shaking the water droplets from his hair.

The floor was cold under his feet, he relished in the feeling. He knew damn well that it’d be humid again when he walked out of the bathroom. He wrapped the towel around his waist, tucking a small bit of it in so that it stayed wrapped. He moved towards the door, hand stopping on the knob when a thought came to him. He groaned in annoyance, head leaning back as his eyes squeezed shut. He didn’t have any clothes to change into. 

His hand came up and rubbed furiously against his forehead. He was NOT about to put on his old ones. Maybe he could borrow some of Karl’s? They were friends so he knew he wouldn't mind. He opened his eyes and clicked the lock off before opening the door with a little too much aggression. Wasn’t the door’s fault. 

The hot air hit him like a sack of freshly picked potatoes. The air wrapped around him in a deathly grip, hands grabbing at him with humid grazes. He was absolutely miserable again. Sure he had been miserable earlier but the air made it so much worse. 

He walked across the dark oak floor, straggling over towards the oak dresser, small green swirls were placed randomly about. Sapnap let out a dry chuckle at that. It really was Karl’s room. He pulled open a draw, hands shuffling through the different options. Yea he probably should ask Karl if he could borrow some clothes but he didn’t want to go downstairs in only a towel. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. 

He pulled out a worn out blue t-shirt, there was a mini narwhal on the front of it but it was badly faded to the point where he had to strain his eyes to make out the image. He was glad that Karl wore oversized clothing, it meant that Sapnap could definitely fit into them. He closed the drawer, opening one under it. He found a pile of pants in it. They were all folded neatly and he felt kinda bad for messing them up. He settled on a pair of dark grey sweats, placing them in the fold of his arm. He stood there for a moment and pondered if he should just put on his old underwear but the thought of damp boxers made him cringe. He had to pull open a few extra drawers to find the selection of underwear, grabbing a black pair to settle with. 

He pulled the clothes on, drying the rest of his hair with the towel. Hair stuck to the back of his neck and sides of his face. The feeling was driving him insane and he planned on getting his hands on a hair tie to hold back his hair. He tossed the towel into a hamper by Karl’s bed, exiting the room quickly after. He traveled down the stairs, hands running through his hair to move it into a less annoying position. 

A conversation began to drift into his ears as he grew closer to his friends. When he re-entered the kitchen, the two were still there. Quackity was sitting in an oak chair that was slightly pulled away from the table. Karl was propped against the kitchen counter, facing Quackity. The sudden entry caused the two to turn towards Sapnap. Quackity’s smile grew as he met the gaze of the other.

”What took you so long?” He questioned in a joking tone, “I thought you fell in the shower or something and needed life alert.” That caused both boys to break into laughter. Karl’s questioning tone broke through the burst of laughter. 

”Are those my clothes?” He questioned, eyes recognizing the t-shirt immediately. Sapnap npdded, hand scratching at the nape of his neck.

”Yeeeaa, sorry I didn’t bring a spare change” He responded in a small tone. “Is that alright?” He raised a brow and tilted his head, eyes looking pleadingly at the other. Karl’s face flared up a bit as he nodded quickly, eyes still lingering on the clothes the other was wearing. 

”Yea of course it’s alright” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please also keep this in mind that this is a slow burn and that I already have most things planned out for the story💔


	5. Bedroom Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter 
> 
> Vague mention of scars

* * *

Sapnap was laid against the dark oak floor, stomach pressed to the ground. His arms were outstretched in front of him, hands resting on Karl’s thighs. Karl was sat cross legged in front of him, concentrated on the task before him. He was hunched over, fingers grasped around a small cylinder handle. He was putting a coat of crimson nail polish on Sapnap’s nail. His own nails were painted a violet. His fingers were under Sapnap’s, both hands were warm and slightly sweaty. 

Sapnap had protested the idea at first. Not wanting to get his nails painted for the fact that his other friends would continuously tease him about it. Quackity and Karl both dogged him about it until he agreed. Sapnap was currently sulking on the floor. Quackity was sitting a little ways away, admiring his nails. His was navy blue and he couldn’t stop looking at them. A grin played on his lips, clearly enjoying the idea of his. 

“Karl you’re really good at painting nails, do you do this a lot?” Quackity quizzed teasingly as he leaned over towards Karl. Karl’s brow was furrowed as his eyes didn’t move from Sapnap’s hand. 

“Shhh you’re gonna make me mess up you nimrod” He replied to the other, face not changing. Sapnap would’ve thought that he was doing something much more serious with how his face was twisted. Grey eyes narrowed as his hand moved slowly and cautiously. Quackity decided to make noises, trying to shake Karl of his seriousness. Despite his stern stature, a grin broke out on his face. He pulled back his hand, leaning back and turning to Quackity.

“Stoooop, you’re gonna make me mess up” He giggled, trying to sound annoyed but failing as Quackity continued to make idiotic sounds and faces at the other. Sapnap just watched them, a small smile playing on his own face. They were his idiot friends and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Karl eventually got back to finishing up Sapnap’s nail, his fingers gingerly placing one hand down onto the floor to let the polish dry. Sapnap had originally agreed to the color black but Karl said the red would bring out his eyes. Sapnap’s chin rested on the hard floor and there would soon be little angry red lines. 

“You look really pretty when you’re serious” Sapnap grinned up at Karl, his chin hurting slightly from the extra pressure. Karl looked baffled, hand twitching and red polish coating the side of Sapnap’s pinky finger. 

“Sapnap!” He squealed in horror as he quickly wiped away the polish. His cheeks were dusted in pink hues and Sapnap laughed. 

“Stop moving!” Karl pouted, fixing Sapnap with a light hearted yet stern glare.The ravenette only continued to grin, finding enjoyment in messing his friend up. 

Karl screwed the handle/top back onto the miniature bottle that held even more nail polish. He set the glass down, hands returning to Sapnap’s hand that still rested on his thigh. His fingers played with Sapnap’s, being careful of the drying coat of nail polish. Karl’s fingers were slender and slightly scarred. His fingers brushed against his palm, making Sapnap feel slightly ticklish by the action. They sat like that for a moment, both basking in the small actions. 

Sapnap found comfort in the small movements, glad that something in his life was going slow and not too fast. He was afraid to get caught up in the tide again. The waves were small and crashed softly into the sand around him. The water was cold and came up to his ankles as he sat in the hot sand. Sapnap hadn’t noticed that their other friend was ranting. Sap tuned everything back in and Karl was just nodding his head, eyes trained on Quackity. His fingers were still slightly intertwined with Sap’s. Sapnap didn’t mind since he knew the other found comfort in physical touch. He furrowed as he tried to follow the conversation.

“I mean I know Tommy passed his presidency down to Tubbo but- they’re both literally kids'' Quackity threw his hands out in front of himself as he stared at Karl in disbelief. Karl nodded at Quackity’s statement. Brown hair tossed around slightly at the action.

“Yea I mean is there no one else to take over anyways? Shouldn’t you be in charge since you were Vice?” Karl quizzed, head tilting. Quackity shook his hand, hand coming up to rub at his forehead. He still wore the beanie and he could see a line of sweat build up along his hairline. 

“I should but since it was being handed over to Pogtopia then that means that Wilbur would receive ownership” Quackity grimaced at the mention of the insane man’s name. Karl’s face also faltered and seemed a little sad. It was a shame. 

Wilbur and Sapnap didn’t really interact with each other a lot. They were usually on different sides of the battlefield. He knew that Wilbur was a skilled soldier and an even better leader, he had a way with words. He was a shit dad though. His son was also very skilled, abilities that made Sapnap on guard every time he thought about him. He was also aware that Quackity had a pretty good relationship with the dead leader. 

“Wilbur said I’d be a good President…” Quackity said softly, eyes drifting downwards as his face twisted into guilt and regret. This caused the other two to look at eachother with concerned faces. Karl was the first to react. 

“You’d be such a good president, a handsome one too” Karl laughed, shuffling over to Quackity to tackle him into a hug. He began to make kissing noises as he got really close to the side of his face. Quackity laughed, hands coming up to push at Karl playfully. 

“Get off me Karlos” He laughed, easing the tension from the room. Sapnap pushed himself up off the floor, moving over towards the two. 

“Don’t leave me out!” He said in playfull anger, wrapping his arms around the other two. Quackity groaned as he was beginning to burn up and Karl only giggled in response. They were hot and sweaty, bodys stuck to each other. Eventually everyone let go, the summer heat getting a little too much for them. 

The sunlight that showed through the window was now a red and orange mix. The sun was setting and he hoped it would get cooler. Sapnap grimaced, he should probably get going but he really didn’t want to go back to his and Sam’s base just yet. He continued to stare at the sunset from his spot on the floor. A door closing behind him caused him to turn around. 

“Quackity went to go get water” Karl chirped as he noticed Sapnap’s confusion. Sapnap just nodded his head and hummed in response. Karl plopped down next to Sapnap, eyes traveling to look out the window with him. The clouds danced along the sky, hues of orange and red stained the side of them. 

“D’you mind if I stay over tonight?” Sapnap asked quietly, gaze still captured by the sky. Karl turned to him, face flushing slightly but the other didn’t notice. His eyes were a little wide, wondering if Sapnap was being serious.

“Of course! Is there a reason why?” Karl tilted his head, teeth grazing over his lower lip slightly. His fingers played with each other, chest rising and falling as he waited for a response. Sapnap shrugged, arms coming in to rest on his lap.

“I dunno, just don’t wanna go home yet” He responded with a small shake of his shoulders. Karl seemed slightly disappointed by the answer but nodded, a grin playing on his lips. 

“Then yea it's cool, as long as we can cuddle” Karl said playfully, laughing at his own sentence. Sapnap chuckled, of course he’d want to cuddle. 

“Alright but the blanket is staying off if it's too hot” The black haired male grimaced at the thought of cuddling in blistering heat. He would definitely sweat to death. Karl seemed satisfied by the response and moved a hand over to tangle his fingers with Sap’s. He allowed the action to happen, fingers wrapping around Karl’s. Karl’s shoulder leaned against Sapnap’s, bare arms pressed against each other. Karl inhaled a little and opened his mouth to say something, his face brightening in a red. Whatever Karl was going to say never left his mouth as the door flung open, Quackity standing there with bottles of water in his arms.

“What’s up fuckers, I brought good shit” He laughed but his face instantly lost its playful fire as both males looked back at him. His eyes looked at Karl, seeming slightly guilty now. Sapnap groaned in relief as he stood up, hand leaving Karl’s. 

“Thank you dude” His fingers outstretched as he wrapped them around the cold glass of the bottle. He brought his hand back and opened the bottle, quickly downing half the bottle before stopping for air. He wiped the water droplets from the side of his mouth. Karl laughed at that, grin back on his face.

“I guess you were really thirsty huh Sappy Nappy” He said suggestively to which Sapnap nodded his head, flopping back down onto the floor. He picked a different spot this time, choosing one that was away from the sun’s glare. The wood was cooler and felt nice under him. He leaned back, propping himself up with one hand. Quackity side glanced at the window and proceeded to lean against the wall. He let out a small sigh, hand rubbing at the side of his face. Sapnap knew it wasn’t a contented sigh, but an annoyed one. George did it all the time.

“I’ll have to leave soon, got to help Tubbo and Fundy with L’manberg” He deflated, opening the water bottle. He chugged a bit of it down but stopped before halfway. Sapnap’s shoulder twinged at the name. Stupid fuckin fox. 

“Well do you want us to walk you back?” Karl asked, pushing himself off the ground. Quackity shook his head lightly. 

“Nah, don’t think they’d be happy if they saw you guys” Karl gave a small nod but walked over to Quackity. He opened his arms up and Quackity rolled his eyes, the curve of his mouth betraying his playful dislike. Karl wrapped his arms around the shorter male, head resting on his shoulder. They stood like that for a moment longer and neither minded, they didn’t know how long it would be before they’d get to hang out again. 

Quackity was the first to let go and that was Sapnap’s que to get up from his comfortable spot. The brute stood and placed down his half empty bottle onto the dresser. He opened his arms and walked closer to the other. Quackity mimicked the same action. Sapnap embraced the other, his chin resting on Quackity’s head. His arms wrapped around the other. 

“Miss ya dude” Sapnap muttered, patting the other’s back. He could feel a small rumble against his chest as the other laughed. 

“I’ll miss your stupid ass too” Quackity responded and all three laughed. They seperated and Sapnap ruffled the other’s beanie. It caused the other to scowl playfully at the other. All three left the room and ventured downstairs, still talking as they reached the doors. They parted with a small goodbye, seeing the shorter male off as the other two stood at the door. 

Karl closes the door once Quackity gets out of view. Sapnap is leaning against the wall when Karl turns to go back upstairs. Sapnap pushes himself off the wall but stops after a few steps behind Karl. The small glint from the kitchen table catches his attention. Sap strides over to the table, grabbing the sheathed sword. He ventures up after Karl and back to his room. Karl was standing over by the bed, rearranging things when Sap entered. He looked up, eyes catching onto the sword and then onto Sap. He raised a brow at the other.

“Oh, you know” Sapnap shrugged as he tried to find a reasonable explanation for his paranoia, “,In case someone breaks in.” Karl made an ‘o’ face and went back to what he was doing. Sapnap walked over to the other side of the bed, laying the overly large sword onto the nightstand. He unsheathed it slightly in case he needed to grab onto it quickly. He threw himself down onto the bed, making himself bounce a little before resting. Karl from beside him laughed before falling onto the bed. He landed on his stomach, arms outstretched over Sapnap’s stomach. 

“Soooooo are you still down to cuddle?” Karl asked cheekily to Sapnap, grey eyes looking pleadingly towards the other. Sapnap rolled his eyes as Karl pulled the puppy dog eyes. The look softened the other’s features and made his eyes even rounder. His stare gazing through his brown lashes as he awaited an answer.

“Sure, why not?” This elected a victorious giggle from Karl as he instantly started to rearrange himself. Sapnap slightly moved himself to fit Karl’s movements. Karl laid partially on Sapnap, legs tangling together. Karl’s head rested on Sapnap’s shoulder, right hand laying on Sapnap’s chest. His other hand was pressed up against his own chest, fingers gripping the material of his hoodie. Sapnap shifted a bit until his right arm was draped around Karl’s shoulders, his other hand laying at his side. 

“Comfortable?” Sapnap asked Karl who only hummed in response. Sapnap couldn’t really see Karl’s face but could tell by the movement against his shoulder, that Karl was grinning. Sapnap’s eyes felt heavy and he could feel tiredness tug at him. He didn’t really want to go to sleep just yet, he needed to stay up just a bit longer in case something happened. He stuggled to keep his eyes open, making small jerks at times. 

“You can go to sleep Sap, no ones gonna hurt you” Karl said softly against the other’s shoulder. Sapnap sighed at that, feeling the words ease his paranoia. His free hand came up, ruffling Karl’s hair who responded with a small chuckle. He let his hand fall onto his chest, brushing up against Karl’s. His eyes began to close and he could feel sleep drag him down below. Soft fingers began to play with his hand but they didn’t pull him back up. He focused on the breathing coming from Karl. The soft words that fell from Karl’s lips never reached Sapnap’s ears. 

“I’ll keep us safe” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be coming out slow


	6. Important update

So as some of you have noticed, I’ve stopped updating. No I’m not discounting the story, I still have so much to write. I’ve hit a block and have written many drafts to only trash them in the end. My 9weeks exams are coming up very soon and I’m currently struggling in balancing everything. I hope you can be patient with me as I try to get everything out. This will be deleted when I am ready to post a new chapter. Thank you all for the support, it means so much to me to receive comments from you guys <3


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